To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before

I have my 25 year class reunion this year. In preparation for this fun event, I have been talking to many of my high school friends. During the conversations I’ve noticed many of my friends have memories of their interactions with classmates – very detailed memories.

What is wrong with me that I don’t have these memories? Was I that unfeeling? Did I just not have any friends? Did I party a little too much between then and now? (Probably)

Don’t get me wrong I have memories of impactful events (First kiss, falling in love, educational successes, violin teachers, confirmation classes, meeting my husband, learning to drive, smoking, drinking, that one day I was in detention, etc…) I just don’t remember interactions with female friends. I do remember traits about my friends that I absolutely loved. If I could go back to high school as the perfect girl it would be a mash up of these traits.

I would be funny, kind, smart, pretty, witty, strong, wise, caring, social, sporty, graceful, encouraging, daring, sexy, artistic, musical, organized, patient, driven, spiritual and loving. I can document by name the women who I remember with these traits, but I won’t and you know why.

As I prepare to go relive those days this summer, I hope that my fellow female classmates look back and remember me fondly. If not, I’m calling you out. If you are at the reunion this summer, find me and give me a chance to make it right.

Didn’t We Just Do This Last Year?

So I went and checked my “New Years” post from last year ( and it feels like I may be a hamster on a wheel here. I didn’t set the same goals this year and the bitterness is decidedly less evident but ultimately I am still trying in different ways to be a productive person and help others…and the clock (or cute doggie watch) keeps ticking. So here is what I am going to do….trash it all.

I’m tossing my resolution to be nice, ditching the theory that somehow I can become a better person and create happier energy everywhere I go in one year. Lost is the image of myself as Glenda the good witch spreading comfort and joy to those around me.

The trick is this, I have been working toward this goal and succeeding little by little for years. I am betting outside of weight loss and independent wealth, you have done the same thing. Anyone who has made a conscious effort to be “better” probably is and its not a limited time engagement – its every day, all the time.

This year I am working toward certifications and notable ways to get better at what I do but I was doing that last year and I will be doing it next year. You dont have to put a target on the wall or a label on this year to achieve…although I do recommend a good vision board and motivational essential oils;-)

Worst Before Picture EVER!!

Its just so bad and so embarrassing but here it is:

This is my master closet. Messy, dirty, disorganized and a MAJOR point of stress for both me and my husband. About a month ago, I decided to get this closet in order and since then, I have chipped away at this “closet chaos.”

I had a plan in mind for months (that is how long it has been this way) and all the plan got me was, well, a plan. So I gave my husband (Scott) free reign and said ” do what you want to do,” and he did.

He extracted most of the items on the floor and I started on the extra items (boxes and bags of “stuff” thrown in the closet over the 10 years we have lived in the house). ┬áToday the closet is not done by any means but it is much better.

I have faith that I will complete the project before the holidays. There is a lesson here and I’d like to say it is “make a plan and stick to it” or “this miracle change can happen overnight” but the truth is when you load up on crap, it takes a lot of time and work to get it out…and sometimes that means you have to just start work and hope for the best.

You can look at this closet story as a metaphor for life – clearing out the bad stuff and whatnot but the real life takeaway is this. Sometimes you just have to fish or cut bait.

The Bubble of Protection

Every night I have a bedtime routine for my kids. Each of them has a different routine they have established. Its a way for them to tell their mind to “turn off” and go to bed. Though the beginning of the routine starts differently, then end is the same for all three. I say a prayer and draw a “bubble” around them with my hands. The bubble is the boundary that cannot be broken by anything bad. It establishes God’s protection around my babies and gives them a visual of what they imagine in their heads is the layer of protection provided by the Almighty.

The prayer we say is one I found in a very old children’s book of prayers my Aunt Mary gave to me. All my kids have memorized it through repetition and I thought I would share it with you.

Loving Father, put away,
All the wrong I’ve done today,
Make me sorry, true, and good,
Make me love Thee, as I should,
Help me feel by day and night,
I am ever in Thy sight,
Heavenly Father, hear my prayer,
Take Thy child into Thy care,
Lets Thy angels, pure and bright,
Watch around me, through the night,

Sweet dreams and good night.

A Mother’s Love: In Writing

“Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn’t anyone who doesn’t appreciate kindness and compassion.”–His Holiness the Dalai Lama, from “Kindness, Clarity, and Insight” by Snow Lion Publications.

The above quote seems like common sense. Of course everyone appreciates kindness and compassion! Then I think of my recent Saturday after leaving the mall….(insert blurry flashback sequence here)

My hair salon is located in a very large mall. This has benefits and drawbacks. I pulled into the parking lot in front of Nordstrom at 2:56 for my 3pm appointment. As I pulled in to the parking spot I had been fortunate to find (thank you, Jesus and all the angels sing, hallelujah) I noticed the cars to my left were askew, which meant I had to park my gigantic floating city of a suburban a little wonky.(still within the lines though).

4 hours later when I emerged as a sun-kissed goddess, I rushed to my car and drove home. As I pulled in to the driveway, I noticed a small piece of paper (about the size of a business card) under my right windshield wiper. I figured it was another advertisement for a sporting event or service. I got out of the car at home and looked at the little piece of paper.

To my surprise, written in feminine swirly handwriting, I found a dissertation of hate. This is the exact wording of the note (slightly censored for delicate eyes):

“You f**king A** whole learn to park!! I have 2 babies & could barely get them in my f**king car!”

Wow!! Xanex anyone?!?! This poor self-centered woman was apparently off her rocker. My parking job was (in her jacked up mind) a personal assault on her and her “2 babies.”

The thought of getting two babies into a car blocked on one side is no more threatening than a sunny day to a mother of three (two of which are twins) who works full-time and was going to get her hair dyed for the first time in a fiscal quarter. (in the background a violin plays “my heart bleeds for you”)

So I did what any sane person would and took a picture of her psycho note and posted it on Facebook.

I would like to think that had I come upon this poor soul in the midst of her baby-loading struggle, I would have helped and offered kindness and compassion. (though she may have shimmed me with a sharpened pacifier)

At this point I can only think to myself; “Suck it, B**ch! I hope you pull it together before I see you on the news!”