Quit Your Whining and Mom Up!

During my first pregnancy I was not one of those glowing happy pain-free ladies who look like supermodels with a basketball under their shirt. (It wasn’t that way with the twins either – go figure)

I was shocked every time I experienced a new symptom and each month I would go in to my doctor and ask what was wrong with me and how I can treat the symptoms. Finally, my doctor said “here’s what’s going on: YOU’RE PREGNANT! Just be happy for every symptom because it means you’re still pregnant and that the baby is healthy.”

Good point but isn’t this all about me? The mom!! The star of the show!??? …and then I delivered my 9lb 2oz of joy.

Being a mom is not a traditional “performance for praise or payment” job. A mom’s performance is evaluated by everyone from school teachers to other parents and eventually by even their own child (millions of therapists can attest to this). The goals (doctor, lawyer, president, professional athlete or movie star) are unrealistic the hours are undefined and there is no “policies and procedures” manual.

Let’s agree that no one in our homes does more related to the care and comfort of the kid(s). Lets agree that no one gets less sick days or personal time. Lets even agree that even though moms are the ones cheering everyone else on, no one really cheers for the moms.

SO WHAT?!? I say it to my kids and I’ll say it to all you mommies “less whining and more winning.”

We are superheroes. We are powerful. We, as mommies, have bragging rights to every single one of our kids’ successes. We are the ones who get the shoutouts. We get a real holiday that is marketed in a big way (sorry, Father’s Day pales in comparison to Mother’s Day).

Mom is a title that many women have to fight to get. Let’s wear it with pride. We don’t need to “man-up” when we can “mom-up.”

Local Event: Psychic Night at Churchil’s

If you have ever seen a psychic, had your cards read, or consulted an intuitive of any kind you know that it’s a very personal experience. You sit down and open yourself up for someone you hardly know to read the details of your life (or past life).

Psychic fairs are a great opportunity to “sample” or get to know area intuitives. Psychic Night at Churchill’s on the square in McKinney is like a more intimate psychic fair. As you walk in you can feel the positive energy and see all the psychics with their own “space” at separate tables. The 20-minute session is just long enough to get a good reading and decide if you like the energy and method of each of the psychics.

The organizer, Kim St. Andre (www.kimstandre.com) has hand selected the psychics and has personal experience coaching, mentoring or working side by side with each of them. You can pick who you will see or Kim and her staff will match you with the psychic they feel you will pair well with.

If you have never seen a psychic before this is the perfect opportunity to check it out. The environment is casual, the food is wonderful and the energy is electric! Each reading is $20 for a 20 minute session (A steal for the psychics with this level of experience) and you can sign up for as many sessions as you like.

Psychic Night for January is tomorrow night – Thursday, January 10. Sessions are available from 5-9:40pm. If you have questions or want to reserve a spot, contact Kim on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/KimSt.AndreStayTrueToYou.

Color Me Happy

Can colors really make a difference in our mood? Think about when you wear a sleek red dress, a soft white sweater or those tall black boots. Color can dictate the way we act and react. I truly believe that color has an effect on the mood of a room. I have butter yellow walls in my dining room, bright and light blues and greens in the bedroom and soft neutrals everywhere else. Don’t get me wrong, I love a red dining room as much as the next gal (mine was red before yellow) but I have become hyper-sensitive to anything that can add to the already ever-present kid-on-kid smackdown bouts in our house. I am constantly looking for a way to reduce the stress on my over-scheduled, overachieving children.

For example: My son has had a hard time going to sleep at night. He seems very stressed. I thought it was middle school stress and helped him manage it using essential oils and a soothing routine. Last summer he got a quilt from my mother. This amazing quilt has flaming basketballs stitched on a black background. This weekend when we washed the quilt, I didn’t get it dried in time so he had to use another quilt with soft neutral colors. When I came up stairs to start our calming routine he looked calm and fresh. He said “I really like my room like this. Its just so bright and happy!” He was asleep within minutes.

The color chart above seems to work and I have found that these ring true in most cases. Some say its the intensity of the color, some the vibration. I dont really know what it is for certain but I know that colors really have an effect on our mood and emotions.

 

 

Temper Temper

There is a lot to be said for temperance. It’s key in obtaining life balance. Self control is a virtue. A virtue that for me is taking A LOT longer to master than others. I believed that if a little is a good thing then even more would be even better…right?!? Overindulgence would throw me out of balance. My reaction often swings the pendulum in the other direction only touching on balance before I plunged into an over correction.

If I ate too much and felt bloated, I would drastically reduce intake until I became lightheaded. If I drank too much, I would not drink again for months. I would meditate all my time away until my real world duties were neglected then not meditate for weeks. It was always that pendulum; back and forth. Until I stopped overindulging and started tempering my actions.

So, what’s the solution? How do you learn temperance? Enjoying the “now” and understanding abundance is part of it. I don’t need “bigger, better, more” when I can be happy with what I have. Mostly for me it’s like anything else – practicing.

Balance is an effort – a regular day job. I have to work at it, then I get out of whack and I have to work at it some more.

I’d love your comments on temperance – Any tips or tricks (magic buttons would be appreciated).

Abundance – Friend or Foe?

“Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.” – Buddha

Everywhere I go these days I notice abundance of noisy chatter. On television, in the workplace, at home and definitely online. It seems like millions of sources of information vying for attention all the time. Almost every day though, One (or more if I am fortunate) message gets through that seems genuine. Im not talking about the regular interaction with people you know and love – my friends and family are amazing at “filling my cup” and I hope I am the same for them. I’m talking about the vast amount of messages on social media, television, direct mail and the like.

The quote above has great meaning for me. My daughter says that smiley faces are “kind of like her signature because she really connects with them.” I feel that way about that sigh of relief or unclenching of the teeth I hear when I have helped someone find peace – even if its only briefly.

I know many people see the quotes I post and think “Cheesy McCheeseball is at it again” or “I have heard that a thousand times” but I know that for some it makes the difference between a long hopeless day and an added skip in their step. It could be exactly what they need to post to their own page or blog or the words they needed to share with a friend or loved one.

There is an abundance of sour people who care little for others and just want to shout above the crowd to get noticed. My challenge for myself and for you is to add worth to your interactions on social media, add value to your blog in the form of helping others.

Abundance can be a very, very good thing (please be listening lottery elfs) or a challenge (the abundance of dirty laundry in this house comes to mind here) either way – cutting through the excess blather can be the best thing we do as entrepreneurs, small business owners, bloggers or copy writers. Connecting genuinely taps into another abundant commodity – love. (not the kissy kissy stuff – ewe)

Can You Hear My Heart Beat?

Twinlog – Post 1

“Listen, Amy, I’m not getting a heartbeat. We need to go to the sonogram room and check things a little more closely. No need to panic”

Not the words I was hoping to hear at my nine-week visit to the obstetrician. I’m having a baby and this is happy stuff. No heartbeat but don’t panic!? REALLY?!?

The longest 10 minutes of my life (to that point) was the time it took to get me to the sonogram room and on the table. I was at this visit alone, my husband was traveling. I came on my lunch hour for a quick heartbeat check. This was not my first rodeo. I had a healthy 2 year old at home.

The doctor began pressing the sonogram scanner (or whatever it’s called) uncomfortably against my already bulging belly and there it was on the screen. Two little bubbles with two little heartbeats. “Well, it looks like we found the heartbeat or should I say heartbeats. You are having twins!”

I burst into tears!

It Could Happen To You – Or Already Has!!

Compassion
– noun – a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

So, I have this thing I do when someone tells me about some horrible event in their life. I tear up. At first I thought it was middle age but realize I’ve had this problem since I had my first kid. Then obviously, it must be hormones, right?? Nope, I had them checked and all levels are normal. I talked to a psychologist friend and her unofficial diagnosis – compassion.

I must have hit a point in life where I felt for others as much as I do myself. Crazy as it sounds this phenomena can happen after a “phase of growth” or life-altering experience. Some people are ever stricken with it FROM BIRTH! (I picture Jesus, Mother Theresa, Quan Yin and the Dalai Llama here – is that right?? Llama like the cattle??)

Whatever the cause, I’m stuck with it and now every sad movie, sob story and lost kitten can be the impetus for sobs or a call to action. Sometimes I like to help people without being asked (gasp).

I shudder to think what might happen if we all become stricken – like a plague of do-gooders!!! If you have been infected with this plague, please post a comment and let me know the effects on you. It would be great (I mean horrible) to have a nice list of good deeds:)

Patience Schmatience

Patience is defined as – (1) the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like. (2) an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with a slow learner or (3) quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence: to work with patience.

I can effectively say I have not mastered the art of patience nor do I know many people who have. So, how is it that I can do soooo much “big talking” about meditation?? It’s not just talk and the truth is, I don’t know. It’s just not the same thing.

When I am faced with a delay, annoyance or provocation I have a physical reaction that I have to control to prevent an outburst. It took me years (literally) to learn to control the reaction but it is not automatic and sometimes I don’t even try…really. Meditation is different.

When meditating I am more purposeful about tuning out the world. My kids can scream, (as long as its not a pain scream) and the dogs can walk over me and the world can continue to buzz around me…with no reaction.

So mark “I just don’t have patience” off your list of excuses for skipping meditation…cause if this firecracker can manage it, so can you!

Didn’t We Just Do This Last Year?

So I went and checked my “New Years” post from last year (http://keepthefaithdaily.com/new-new-shiny-and-new) and it feels like I may be a hamster on a wheel here. I didn’t set the same goals this year and the bitterness is decidedly less evident but ultimately I am still trying in different ways to be a productive person and help others…and the clock (or cute doggie watch) keeps ticking. So here is what I am going to do….trash it all.

I’m tossing my resolution to be nice, ditching the theory that somehow I can become a better person and create happier energy everywhere I go in one year. Lost is the image of myself as Glenda the good witch spreading comfort and joy to those around me.

The trick is this, I have been working toward this goal and succeeding little by little for years. I am betting outside of weight loss and independent wealth, you have done the same thing. Anyone who has made a conscious effort to be “better” probably is and its not a limited time engagement – its every day, all the time.

This year I am working toward certifications and notable ways to get better at what I do but I was doing that last year and I will be doing it next year. You dont have to put a target on the wall or a label on this year to achieve…although I do recommend a good vision board and motivational essential oils;-)

No Fear New Year

2012 saw a lot of fear for me personally. From some family health issues and friends losing parents to the very public massacres this month, a seed of fear was planted with each new occurrence. Today I am shedding that fear to start new this year.

I don’t have a fear of death myself. I mean, think about it, when I die…I’m dead. It’s the better end of the deal no matter what your belief about the hereafter. It’s the poor saps left behind who suffer. This is where my fear lies…in the left behind. I like my family, friends, kids, husband, neighbors (even the annoying ones), soccer moms and coworkers (the annoying thing fits here too). It would be devastating to lose any one of them.

My plan beginning in 2013 is to live without fear of losing those around me…spend the time enjoying the people I spend time with every day. Here is the “to-do” list (you knew it was coming):

1. Call everybody more. Pick up the phone and call rather than text. Just to hear everyone’s voice. (I may have to up my minutes but its worth it)
2. Go to stuff. I’m pretty good at this but it’s worth mentioning. If someone is thoughtful enough to invite me to something, I’m going.
3. Make “play dates” with my adult friends. Get together with other women once a month. Nothing wild and crazy – just tea, or lunch or a movie.
4. Play with my kids. (This one is kind of a freebie because I already love doing it)
5. Be nice. Consider others. (Even to that idiot I get when I call the cell phone company)

So flush the fears of 2012 (if you even have any) and get a plan of action in place to make the most of 2013…Happy New Year!